Should you snoop on your kids’ smartphones?

It’s inevitable to be concerned about our children’s safety when they begin to grow out of their sheltered cocoon and gain exposure to the big, bad world. Many parents snoop on their children’s phones in order to keep tabs on their social circles and activities, while others feel that going behind their children’s backs is unfair.

The question remains whether parents are entitled to snoop into their children’s lives this way. Is it moral? What example do we set for them if they catch us? These are some of the questions we ought to think about when dealing with our children’s privacy.

We SHOULD snoop on our children, say parents as 60% confess they read their kids’ emails, texts and Facebook messages

Some parents might argue that being responsible for their children, they have a right to snoop and figure out their child’s whereabouts in whichever way they consider feasible or satisfactory. They believe that asking children too many questions about their whereabouts can cause them to feel irritated and instill in them an urge to become even more secretive about their lives away from home.

Violating their Privacy – Are we entitled?

However many others believe that children have a right to privacy and being parents they shouldn’t have to know about their children’s lives through such measures. These parents believe the best way forward is to create a friendly environment for kids where they learn to trust parents with personal information, see them as friends and confidantes rather than distant, probing individuals and feel comfortable discussing their personal lives with parents.

The greatest problem with snooping is that it cannot be completely justified with regards to morals even when parents do it out of concern for their child’s safety. It’s a violation of privacy and it just doesn’t feel right to tiptoe around your own house at midnight, sneak into your child’s bedroom like a burglar and scour their phones for any hint of inappropriate activity.

Apart from the sense of dissatisfaction that comes with being reduced to feeling like a nosy aunt in your own home, there’s the inevitable nagging at the back of your head about what could happen if your child knew what you were up to.

Let’s suppose you accidentally delete a text or your child wakes up due to a parched throat and catches you lurking in the shadows with their phone alive and bright. What happens next? Well, there’s the obvious medley of shock and horror on his/her face, mouth shaped into a perfect ‘O’ and then a crushing realization of being betrayed by their own parent.

Can you expect your child to trust you after such an incident? That one incident can cancel out years of lessons on morals, trust and respecting privacy in a flash. That risk is monumental compared to the risk of your child knowing about illegal liquor dealers.

The ‘Actual” Right Thing to Do

However, that does not imply that you can close your eyes and lounge on the sofa while your child sneaks in drugs hidden in his socks. You have to make sure that they hang out with the right people and do not get exposed to age-inappropriate content over the internet.

Thankfully, instead of snooping there are a great many ways you can ensure that.

• Be your child’s best friend. Make sure you keep them very close as they grow up, communicate with them a lot, spend quality time and do lots of fun stuff to strengthen your bond. Make them realize that you’re central to their life and that they can trust you with anything; they can tell you anything without being afraid of a reaction that would push them away.
• Help them distinguish the wrong and right, evoke the idea that they can’t trust strangers with personal information and that they need to respect themselves by being careful about what they share with whom. Approach the taboos of drugs and liquor gently instead of brushing it under the rug and help them realize that their effects on life and health can be devastating
• Help them deal with and accept their physical and psychological changes as they grow up. Approach the subject of sexuality with reference to science and help them understand how they can deal with the hormonal highs and lows. Discuss the disastrous effects of addiction to anything and instill in them a sense of responsibility to themselves so that they can walk the line out of respect for their own being.
• Give them examples of situations that can harm them and how they can circumvent them. Counsel them about practicing self-restraint instead of giving in to momentary urges in order to lead healthier, contented lives
• Use Parental Controls. With a number of parental control apps available for tech devices, you can easily filter inappropriate content over the web and keep your children safe from the throes of the wild and obnoxious

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